The Key to Improving Your Relationships: Healthy Communication 101

A lot of relationships seem easy in the beginning, until you get out of the “honeymoon phase.” When conflicts arise, communication can be a tricky thing to navigate. This article will give you 3 keys to improving your relationships and encourage healthy, successful communication. Read on to find out how to compromise well and feel satisfied in all of your relationships and friendships.

Try your best to be compassionate in every situation

Be compassionate toward the other person and yourself.  Having compassion for someone else allows you to understand their side of the story rather than judge them and get angry. You don’t necessarily need to agree with someone to have compassion for them. Even if someone wrongs you, you can still empathize with them and think of the experiences they’ve had that might have caused them to act in a way that is harmful to you.

While empathizing with others, try to also feel compassion for yourself. Get in touch with your emotions, acknowledge how you are feeling, and recognize that you deserve to feel your best. Combining self-compassion with compassion for others will give you the courage to stand up for yourself and get your point across, while remaining as kind and calm as possible.

Choose your words carefully

When trying to come up with a solution to a problem, be clear and avoid unnecessary conflict. One way to do this is by using nonviolent communication: say what you observe, how you feel, and what you need, then make a request. For example, say your roommate always leaves their dishes in the sink and doesn’t contribute to housework. You might say, “There are some dishes that have been sitting in the sink for a few days. I feel kind of overwhelmed with all the housework, and I need to make more time to study because I have an exam coming up. Would you mind if we made a cleaning schedule so we can split up the work?” This provides a clear solution so you no longer feel frustrated, and it’s not passive aggressive. It also doesn’t accuse your roommate of anything, and isn’t likely to cause conflict.

Staying level headed and communicating clearly can be tough when you’re caught up in an argument. Before you say something that you know will provoke the person to get angry, ask yourself whether that will help you come to an understanding. When you feel yourself getting heated, try to focus on doing what will bring the best outcome rather than doing what feels good in the moment.

Know your limits

Sometimes if a conversation isn’t going anywhere and is doing more harm than good, it’s better to cool down and talk at a later time. It might be more productive to work things out when you’re both ready to compromise and listen, rather than argue and get your point across. Also recognize when you’re getting treated disrespectfully by your friend/partner. It’s okay to walk away, and to re-evaluate your relationship if the person is totally uncompromising and causes you emotional turmoil rather than adding value to your life. Approaching the person at the right time plays a huge factor in communication. If you’re already overwhelmed and feeling a little off, save that difficult conversation for another day.

Lastly, improving the relationship you have with yourself will improve all of your relationships. Caring for your own wellbeing and filling your own cup first will allow you to give more to the people in your life. Subscribe below to get free mental health and self-development resources, and stay up to date with everything Love Our Minds!